Saturday, December 17, 2011

Trucker Talk

We recently purchased a CB Radio, partly in response to coming up on the accident east of Ogden in my post, A Safety Reminder. We thought it best to have a way to communicate to other drivers of poor driving conditions, and vice versa. It has certainly been helpful in that regard, and we are very thankful to have it with us as we enter into more inclement weather.

But, I also feel like I'm learning a new language.

And, it seems that every driver talks like Larry the Cable Guy. Do truckers go to school to learn to speak in a way no one can understand?

As far as the language goes, it's not all pretty. I remember when I was a young girl and our family would go on driving vacations to the East Coast, Dad would bring along his CB. And he would often have to turn down the volume because of the foul words. But, as my brother Andy and I had a goal to see how many truckers would honk on their air horn when we passed, Dad often gave them a head's up so they could help our numbers. If I remember, we got up to something like 137 honks in a 10-day period.

One of the first times Ben and I had the CB all hooked up and finally got the right length of antennae, we were parked in a Petro truckstop parking lot in Amarillo, TX. This was the "conversation" we heard:

"F! F you you f'n f'er! Get the f out of here! I don't give an f what you think!"

Needless to say, I was not impressed.

We also heard another conversation going from a guy saying something about "chicken feed". As it is not uncommon for non-truckers to peruse truckstops looking to sell some drugs, I thought that "chicken feed" was in reference to that. But, then we found a website that decodes CB chatter, and I'm led to believe it was something police related. Who knows for sure?

Many drivers are quite helpful with information, some are air hogs that won't let anyone in on the conversation, a few are arrogant bullies and a handful are just plain disgusting. We were at a Flying J a week or so ago where I'm pretty sure I saw my first bona fide "lot lizard" (read: prostitute). Lady, nobody walks around a truckstop parking lot in knee high boots, a Britney Spears-inspired-too-short-plaid-skirt, hair and makeup all done up and expects us to think you're legitimately a driver. And then we hear the conversation on the CB that is unbelievably vulgar and offensive and disgusting. I presume it was in reference to the LL, or it was her instigating it.

Aside from the nastiness that can make your ears bleed, the CB has been a great purchase and investment for our time on the road.

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